Cletus, Get Back in Yer Cell!
How to Deal with the Superego's Clay Dolls
When Neurodivergents first meditate.
If even one person, one disordered person, is reading my Stacks and wants to try the fixes in them, I have to tell them about this. If I don’t, they’ll give up, because they’ll think things backfired. It didn’t backfire. You, like me, are neurodivergent. Don’t listen to any Squares telling you that you don’t need this stuff, like they’d fuckin’ know. And they’ll tell you that, because people like that think anything they’re not doing is stupid. If they don’t do it and they find out you do, it’s time to tell you that you’re doing the wrong thing. Meditate? Psychically heal yourself? What bosh. That’s all fake. You don’t need that. HAW! Look at ME! I don’t do it, and I’m fine.
You ever hear that bullshit from a Square? Or worse, a narcissist. They got it all figured out, don’t they? Nothing’s a mystery to these people. Nothing except for everything.
But this isn’t for them. It’s for you. And no. If you’re ND, you are not like them.
Meditation is a dip into the subconscious, and you have a lot of weeds in there that have to be pulled so the flowers can grow. This will not be fun. You have to have a lot of guts to face this. But if you don’t face it, those weeds will keep growing, and each time they do, your actions sour. This happens to all of us, and there’s no getting away from it unless you pull the weeds. For some, medication pulls the weeds, or at least seems to, but then there are any number of damn near revolting side-effects to deal with. I can’t abide them. I will not live through them. I would rather brave my Superego. Hence this. Maybe you’re the same. If so…
If you open up the subconscious through mediation, the first place all that stuff is going to go is the Superego. I mentioned weeds. You, as Gardener, are opening up the garden you’ve never tended. That doesn’t mean it is not occupied, though. The little Yous in the Superego are in there, bitching and moaning and saying, oh, so now ya show up, and they’re not pleased. Also. You just let them out. It’s better that you did, for if you did not, they would be bitching at you anyway, only you’d mistake them for your thoughts. They are not your thoughts. The Superego is supposed to be full of morals and values. If they are, your first meditation might turn you into a guru. But if they’re not, they’re usually made of either your opinions on events or someone else’s opinions on events, all festered into a clay doll. Multiply this by everything you’ve ever experienced either up front or vicariously, that is to say, like a movie you were watching.
So, I said yesterday that it’s the area in which all of the actions and the thoughts and feels of your actions, plus all the opinions in your life, anything anyone ever said or did to or with you, if you could take all that stuff and turn it into clay dolls, then put it behind a walled-off room, then forget about them, that’s your Superego. And every thought you have comes from here. If you’re not aware of these guys, you’ll think the thoughts are yours and act on them. They will poison you. Again, ND people, not Squares. Nothing happens to you guys, you’re just nice and airy your whole lives. Lucky you. Back to us, the ones torn up by these little shits. OK. So now you know where they’re all stemming from, and you’re about to open the door. So out they come. That sounds bad, but it isn’t.
What’s bad is if they get released through trauma instead of purpose. That’s when people go crazy and start doing sadistic things at worst, depressed things at best. Now. Again, that’s why this writing. You’re going to let those assholes out, and you want to be aware of it, so you can learn to tell them shut up, get back in your cage. They’re not going to listen at first because they’re suited to your consciousness.
Ten per cent of your brain can be thought of like the Moon. Saying you lived on the Moon. Saying you lived there, and you’ve never been to Earth, so all you see is this pretty, huge garden, right? But you have no idea who lives there. It might be full of swine. You have no idea. But you need to find out. SO if you take a spaceship down there, you might be in danger, right? But if you never go down there, you’ll never know, and the stuff will still mess with you infinitely until you DO. So, now you have to go.
You’d want a manual.
Meditate and they will get out, and you’ll realize you have a brain full of little assholes.
What’s different is you let them out as opposed to someone else letting them out, or their just plain old sneaking out.
1. I have a crappy thought.
2. This thought is not mine.
3. It’s one of the pricks in the Superego.
4. Stop the thoughts by telling them to stop. When they get worse, do not indulge either the words in your head, the voice speaking them, or the way they’ve made you feel. I don’t care if you’re about to puke from panic or scream blood, do this with all of your strength.
5. Tell the asshole to get back in his cell. Or Castle, like I said yesterday. Or the balloon. Just whatever encasement suits you the best. And they’ll go.
The more you take these steps, the more they stay put. First, their power goes away. Then, they begin listening when you employ step 5. Try it. Take this pith and make it work your way. You’ll see what I mean after you begin. It can’t be explained. You just have to begin.
Those are the five main steps. As you work, you’ll find more steps that are relative to you. They may or may not work for others. But these 5 things will work for everyone. Hopefully, they won’t be as bad for you as they were a long time ago for me. Do all of this in privacy.
Next weapon is indifference. Indifference is not apathy. Indifference is no matter what happens, I will not be made to behave differently. Surely, you care about an event. But if you spaz about said event, you’ll lose your job because you’re at work.
What do you do? Well, you don’t spaz out. I know that because you still have a job, and if you were spazzing out, you wouldn’t. Thus, you must be indifferent. It’s hard when Sally is beating the fuck out of Jen and Jen calls you to cry at work.
But you do it. You care, right? You still do it.
See how that works?
Now, in the interest of brevity, I’ll leave you with that until next time.
But here’s how it feels when you start winning and they have to act for you instead of against you, which can only be done through study, reflection, and meditation.
